Rethinking Narratives: Shifting from Comparative to Uplifting

Hello PragMagicians.

As I made my way up the trail and the morning sun peaked through the spruce I was reminded of the power of comparative narratives and their ability to shape our perspectives. Once again, adventuring reminded me of another leadership skill I work on with clients: The Pitfalls of the Comparative Narrative. My own experience with a toxic mindset almost derailed the expedition but fortunately I was able to make a shift in perspective to help me embrace and delight in the experience.

The "Longer'ish" Hike

Amidst the temptations of vacation travel, my partner and I opted for a "staycation," seeking to explore our local treasures and connect to the world just outside our doorstep. We planned many different activities for the week. Paddling, biking, pickleball (of course!) and hiking. I’m intentionally leaving the descriptions vague to sidestep the trap of comparative narratives among readers. Alas, human nature has a way of slipping into these comparative narrative traps, even when we try to avoid them consciously.

On our second "longer'ish" hike in three days, I fell into the trap! I found myself, face to face with the challenge – the temptation to compare. Gasping for breath, my legs fatigued, and my mind wandering into the land of inadequacy, I witnessed fellow hikers breezing past me. This experience triggered a cascade of self-doubt, negative self-talk and the possibility of putting a real downer on the day, illustrating the potency of comparative narratives to skew our perspectives. Since, our perspectives create our experience and this was definitely not the experience I wanted, I needed an immediate narrative shift.

Recognizing the Pitfalls of Comparative Narratives

Comparative narratives often rooted in societal norms, expectations, and assumptions, can quickly spiral into a toxic mindset. They take away from the beauty of the journey by trapping us in the cycle of feeling we are failing or lagging. Appreciation is no longer accessible. In the realm of leadership, comparative narratives can become barriers to growth. Just as it was happening to me on the trail, comparative narratives impede the ability to recognize and appreciate individual strengths, hindering personal and collective progress. Leaders must be aware of these pitfalls and direct towards a shift in narrative that fosters empowerment.

Turning the Narrative Around:

We must not underestimate the negative ramifications of comparative narratives. The toxic spiral they initiate fosters self-doubt, inhibiting the very traits that compels us – confidence, resilience, and adaptability. My personal transformation on the trail began with acknowledging I was falling into the trap of comparison and a pause was required to recalibrate. I took off my backpack, sipped some water and turned to my partner for support.

The Transformational Shift:

As we stepped to the side of the trail, we engaged in a conversation about perspective and purpose, reminding me of my own strengths, past achievements, and the very reasons I embark on these hikes. Leadership is as much about forging connections as it is about offering guidance. The antidote to comparative narratives is to initiate supportive conversations. Encourage team members to share their stories, struggles, and wins, empowering an atmosphere of understanding and collaboration.

A true leader can catalyze transformation by shifting perspectives. Allowing for a reframe of the narrative to focus on unique experiences, acknowledging efforts and the purpose of the mission invites new energy and allows one to relish in the journey. During my struggle on the trail, the conversation with my partner became a turning point. The focus shifted from what I was “lacking” to what I wanted to happen and what truly mattered. By taking a pause and shifting my narrative, I was able to reframe my perspective and go on to have an amazing day! This hike is going down as one of my top 5 hikes of all time.

Doing Better:

The story of my "longer'ish" hike highlights the possible damage of comparative narratives and although the possible outcomes of not shifting a comparative narrative are not severe – the constant everyday influence of comparative narrative can be detrimental. How do we change the narrative? To do better, we must first recognize what is happening and the possible harm that can be caused both to ourselves and to those around us. Here are a few steps we can take to promote a healthier narrative:

Celebrate Diversity: Everyone’s journey is unique. Celebrate diversity in abilities, aspirations, and experience others and yourself.

Shift Focus to Personal Goals: Instead of measuring success against external standards, set goals and stay focused on what matters most personally.

Practice Compassion: When facing challenges, practice compassion. Remember that struggles are an integral part of growth.

Supportive Conversations: Engage in open conversations. Offer encouragement, share stories of overcoming obstacles, and remind yourself and others of achievements.

Promote Inclusivity: Create an environment that is encouraging, celebrates progress, and fosters a sense of belonging.

Leadership is not confined to designated roles; it's a responsibility we all bear. Everyone’s journey enriches the collective experience. An empowering environment creates a space where diverse experience, narratives, skills exist harmoniously.

Comparative narratives, impede progress by fostering self-doubt and stifling potential. As leaders, whether on the trail or in professional spheres, our role is to unravel these narratives, replacing them with threads of self-appreciation, unity, and purpose – the “uplifting narrative”. By embracing the power of individual narratives and steering them towards collective progress, we illuminate a path toward impactful leadership that elevates all who follow it.

Comparative narratives can cast shadows on our journeys, but with conscious effort, we can illuminate them with the light of appreciation and authenticity. By embracing our stories and encouraging others to do the same, we pave the way for a more inclusive and empowering spaces. After all, life is about the journey, not the destination!

Leanne French Coaching provides coaching to individuals, groups and teams in addition to a variety of presentation topics and workshops.

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